Here at Lunalae, we eat, sleep and breathe pole and we can definitely relate to problems only a pole dancer will understand. Here's 15 that drive us crazy!
1. You're constantly covered in bruises.
Bruises are the new normal on your body. Try and avoid it if you want but it's still going happen. Cherish them, they're your battle scars.
Fake tan becomes your new best friend. You're welcome for the hack.
2. No pole is safe.
You'll eye them all; lamp posts, street signs, goal posts, train rails…no pole is safe! You just can't walk by a good looking pole without trying at least one trick.
3. You’re obsessed with getting a pole of your own (if you don't already have one).
4. Once you have a pole of your own, nothing else gets done.
Anything but pole?
5. You feel immense anger that you’re not yet strong enough/flexible enough to do certain moves yet.
No chill on this one.
6. When the pole is just too slippery.
WHY is this a thing?
7) That sinking feeling when your teacher says, 'now on your other side'.
'Ummm..no MA'AM, not today', but you know you'll do it anyway.
8. You have to ask someone to, 'pass you your foot', in order to get the picture.
Pole class, that's where they do that.
9. Getting a pole trick, taking a picture, never doing said move again.
10. Moisturiser. That's it. That's the problem.
Signing up to pole literally means never being able to wear moisturiser ever again. Say goodbye to soft supple skin forever.
11. Being irrationally irritated by the one naturally super flexible person in class.
It's over for you bitches.
12. Struggling to not talk about pole, or have a conversation with non-pole friends.
13. Not being flexy enough to hold your foot in an allegra, but then you pop your heels on and suddenly you are re-born as a contortionist.
Girl, ALREADY THERE.
14. Arriving to class late and coming to the sad realisation that you have to use a thick pole instead of a thin pole (or vice versa). Whyyyy!?!?!
15. 'We have sold out of Dry Hands'.
Anything we forgot? Comment your #poledancerproblems below!
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